I'm Sensitive And There's Nothing Wrong With That
My whole life, people have accused me of being sensitive. They'd say it disdainfully, like I was the person that was in the wrong for being offended and hurt by their malicious actions and downright mean words.
Yes, I am sensitive. I have a copious amount of feelings that run deep. I get angry easily, frustrated even quicker, and I take things to heart. But is that really so bad?
Today I had a guy hurl at me that I was “clearly extremely sensitive”. I was trying to politely let him know I didn’t want to go on a second date with him and he kept pressing for what my reasons were. When I tried my best to respectfully let him know that he seemed to have been trying to play games and pull power moves that made me feel uncomfortable, he got angry and lashed out at me. He had texted me moments before he walked into the bar saying “Hey, something came up. I can’t make it, reschedule?” and I was livid. I immediately felt embarrassed and that I had been stood up. I began texting a friend to have them try to come meet me to save the embarrassment from worsening. He ended up walking in laughing and saying “oh, you’ll get used to my humour” when I said that it wasn’t funny. I brushed off the situation but the date kinda fell flat for me after he kept saying things that were clearly lines and it made me unsure if he was being genuine with me or just running games.
When he asked me why I felt that I didn’t feel a connection, and asked for examples, I begrudgingly told him but tried to do so in the most respectful way, even saying that I was sure he had reservations about some of my behaviours, etc. He didn’t like what I had to say (even though he asked for it repeatedly). He told me I was entitled (because I had asked to meet at a different bar where I was more comfortable at and I told him I couldn’t go to another bar for food after because I had to meet a friend later on — bearing in mind that he had asked me out last minute and I had managed to fit it into my schedule), childish, a jealous person, angry, and that I had mostly male friends (even though I spent a good chunk of our discussion talking about my female friends, and less time talking about my male friends who I get along with since I’m a Tom Boy) so he definitely dodged a bullet.
When I calmly let him know I didn’t appreciate him lashing out at me, he continued to be rude, condescending, and outright angry. I think it’s safe to say I am happy I didn’t go on that second date.
But here’s what got me thinking. I was the one that was accused of being sensitive. I was the one that was labelled as being entitled because I had opinions and voiced them. I work my ass off for everything that I have and I always have. I diligently kept my cool in an uncomfortable situation and wished him the best in his life, to still have him hurl insults at me afterwards.
He strongly felt he wasn’t lashing out at me or being sensitive, so then why was I being accused of it when I was the one keeping my cool but just not putting up with being treated as less than?
As women, we have to rationalize our actions. We have to fight to be heard. We have to be careful to not get a man angry so we aren’t put in unsafe situations. We are belittled and bullied, and insulted for merely having a set standard of the way we would like to be treated.
Yes, I am sensitive. I lose my cool, I get frustrated. I’m passionate, and sympathetic. I love hard, and cry when I need to.
But I know my worth, and it is not lessened by my emotions, it is strengthened by them. So the next time a guy tries to excuse their actions by calling you sensitive, remember that you deserve better than that bullsh*t and say #boybye